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November 20th, 2008
If gratitude is so vital, why isn’t everybody doing it? Well, that’s because it is both a skill and a feeling. It is a choice and a reaction. Several common obstacles may water down your capability to appreciate your blessings to the fullest. Any of these can leave you feeling deficient. But, when you are alert to these gratitude blockages, you can minimize their influence so they will not obstruct your potential for joy. One of the worst, if not the worst of all, is what I call “The Owe-Me Attitude.”
This is the relatively modern notion that someone or some group owes us; that we deserve something from others. With this mentality, even if we receive something, it’s not a gift but a right. This attitude dissolves gratitude on the spot. Nothing is quite so powerful, and so quickly destructive to your potential for joy, as the attitude of entitlement, or the “culture of complaint,” as some have labeled it.
Moaners and whiners surround us, and they often seem to be competing to see who has the worst grievance against society or who can be the most offended. Though we may laugh at this dynamic or try to distance ourselves from it, it is rubbing off on far too many unprotected people and infecting upcoming generations. Those who consume without contributing to society develop a deep sense of emptiness, which suspends the emotion of gratitude indefinitely.
Closely related to entitlement, but typically on a more interpersonal level, is what I call the Law of Familiarity. This simply means that the longer you’ve been exposed to a particular blessing in your life, the more likely you are to take it for granted. You begin to feel entitled to it rather than being grateful for it.
To maximize your potential for joy, you must go out of your way to make sure you are not taking for granted the wonderful relationships and other blessings in your life. Remember, gratitude expands joy, and entitlement shrinks it. Can you think of a better time that right now to spread the joy?
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November 13th, 2008
During a recent workout my trainer suggested that I stand on one leg on the back/flat side of his Bosu Ball while I lifted my other leg to my chest and then back toward the ground without ever touching the ground or the even the ball.
In other words, he wanted me to balance on one leg on a very unstable surface while moving my other leg back and forth from fully extended to touching my opposite elbow. This may be as hard for you to visualize from my explanation as it was difficult for me to imagine myself performing this exercise when he was instructing me to do so. I remember looking at him like he was crazy (as I often do) in the gym. Since my glare did not discourage his insistence on my attempting this stunt, I went ahead and gave it a try.
I was very deliberate, making sure that I placed my foot in the proper spot and concentrating on not falling and leaving the workout in worse shape than when I begun. I was extremely careful. I was very cautious. I didn’t want to make a mistake. I was playing great defense so to speak.And…I kept losing my balance as soon as I started lifting my leg up and down. My trainer, walked over and again demonstrated effortlessly and flawlessly how to do it right. (As if I’d missed some important key the first time) He just stepped up on the ball and did it. It was simple. He wasn’t careful. He wasn’t cautious. He just launched. So I made an important decision at that moment. I decided to “just do it” as the old Nike slogan puts it. My trainer again reassured me to, “trust and launch.” Trust and Launch!
I wasn’t even sure exactly what he meant. Was I supposed to trust him? Was I supposed to trust God for this exercise? It didn’t seem particularly spiritual at the time. But, I realized just what he meant when he said, “You’re body knows what do. Just force it to do it!” So I walked to the ball quickly, stepped on the center without over-thinking it and simply started exercising. I kept my balance, worked my core and felt awesome and accomplished when I finished. That’s easy, I thought. As we discussed the principle at play, I gained some important clarity.
My hesitation and negative expectation (that it wasn’t possible, safe, or even necessary to do this exercise) interfered with my potential to get the result. Yet the instant I made the decision to launch, I became a different student and a better athlete. When I launched on top of that oddly shaped ball I demanded greater balance than I’ve ever had before…and my body supplied it, but not a second before I really needed it. Demand and supply at work!
How often can our doubts and fears manifest as delay, procrastination, and postponement?
Rather than trusting my body’s ability to balance itself under unusual circumstances, I demanded to know how this would work or if it could even work. When I finally did launch, my body took over. I still don’t know how I did it, but now I don’t care about that. I got the result in this instance when I got out of my own way.
Is there something in your life that you’ve been putting off? Is it in your business? Is it in your marriage? Does it involve your health and energy?
If you wait until it feels right and safe, that time may never come! Why not trust God, trust yourself, and yes, even trust your body and then blast off? Focus on the “what” and leave the “how” up to a higher power. Just do it today!
Think Huge,
Have YOU Taken The 8 Day Challenge?
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November 11th, 2008
Gratitude is a conviction, a practice, and a discipline. It’s an essential nutrient, a kind of spiritual amino acid for human growth, creativity, and joy. Gratitude involves channeling your energy and attention toward what is present and working rather than what’s absent and ineffective. Gratitude is like a mental gearshift that takes you from turbulence to peacefulness, from stagnation to creativity. Gratitude brings you back to the present moment, to all that is working well in your life right now. Gratitude is the cornerstone of an unstoppable attitude. And gratitude can be cultivated and then experienced at ever-deepening levels. What are you doing this week to upgrade your gratitude?
Have YOU Taken The 8 Day Challenge?
Coach
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November 10th, 2008
Would you like to put negative emotions in their place and reduce the stress they cause in your life?
If so, you are far from being alone in this desire.
You can put negative emotions in their place by challenging their authenticity. Here’s what I mean. When you become aware of a negative emotion, simply remind yourself, “This is just the way I feel. It’s not necessarily the truth. It doesn’t need to dictate my behavior.” Feelings are not the gospel and aren’t cited in Scripture as a basis for taking action. Left unchecked, your feelings tend to drag you into the worst aspects of human nature, namely, shifting your attention and outlook from the long term to the short term.
With a short time horizon, we are far more likely to react unproductively to a negative feeling rather than respond resourcefully. Too often, our feelings, if used as a compass, lead us to make self-centered choices. Instead of allowing your feelings to guide your decisions, try allowing God’s Word to set your direction.
Compliance with God’s principles is the seldom discussed, timeless secret to sustained positive emotions. If you are held captive to how the world wants you to feel and behave, you must also endure the roller coaster of negative emotions that correspond with that philosophy. Put negative emotions in their place today so that you realize they are not the basis for your decisions.
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November 7th, 2008
The flip side of the Law of Attention is that whatever you stop thinking about or turn your attention away from tends to atrophy and drop out of your life.
So, starve worry, fear, and doubt by no longer nourishing them with your attention. Remember, whatever you focus on, you are going to experience. If you have an urge to “go negative,” remember that it’s not going to produce anything positive.
Have YOU Taken The 8 Day Challenge?
Coach
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October 28th, 2008
Hey 4:8 Thinkers,
Last week I spoke to a group and spontaneously raised a question which has stuck in my mind since I first asked it Thursday afternoon.
In an effort to get it out of my mind, I want to share it with you…
With so much social and media chatter about difficult times, the troubled economy, financial crisis, and so forth and so on… I asked the group if they’d be willing to swap their health, their marriage, or their kid’s safety if they could regain their own financial strength.
In other words, I was really asking if they would have preferred to experience a trauma with their health, a crisis in their marriage or with their children rather than a setback in their pocketbook.
As is so often the case, the question was the answer.
And it’s a question we might prefer not to ask, but when we do, we almost inevitably breathe a deep sigh of relief and realize how blessed we truly are. Sometimes, to maximize our sense of gratitude, it’s helpful to give thanks for what we don’t have to be dealing with in our life.
What about you? How would you answer the question?
Just for today…
· Practice feeling grateful for what’s NOT broken
· Reduce all forms of whining and complaining.
· Use spare moments to dwell upon the character of God.
· Refuse to nurse old wounds with your attention.
· Support and defend a victim of gossip or hearsay.
· Deploy your words to encourage your spouse and kids…a lot and then a little more still.
· Maintain your brain with healthy sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
Then wake up tomorrow morning, rinse and repeat!
Join the Magnificent Minority who spread joy, NOT stress!
Could there be a better time than now to THINK 4:8?
Have YOU Taken The 8 Day Challenge?
Since 1991… It’s all about Focus!
Coach
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October 24th, 2008
Just for today…
Practice feeling grateful.
Reduce all forms of whining and complaining.
Use spare moments to dwell upon the character of God.
Refuse to nurse old wounds with your attention.
Support and defend a victim of gossip or hearsay.
Deploy your words to encourage your spouse and kids…a lot.
Maintain your brain with healthy sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
Then wake up tomorrow morning, rinse and repeat!
Join the Magnificent Minority who spread joy, NOT stress!
Could there be a better time than now to THINK 4:8?
Have YOU Taken The 8 Day Challenge?
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October 22nd, 2008
In last Saturday’s Wall Street Journal, Jason Zweig provides some great advice on dealing with fear and avoiding “trigger-happy “panic. The article on the front page of the Money & Investing section describes panic as a “wild, irresistible fear that spreads through crowds like an epidemic.” Of course, the emotion of fear is a consequence of thinking fear-rooted thoughts and the extreme emotion of panic is simply fear-intensified with negative energy, creating the “runaway train” dynamic that almost always makes things worse.
To be calm and poised, first think calm, faith-based thoughts. Remind yourself that God is in control, that this situation will soon pass, that there is an opportunity hiding in all of this. Every hour throughout the day, pause briefly and pray for wisdom, for discipline, for patience and for poise. Dwell on soothing words such as “Tranquility, Serenity, Peace, Relaxation, Harmony, Faith, Gratitude.” Repeat them in your mind or whisper them aloud.
Better yet, remind yourself of everything you know to be true about God. “God is all-powerful. God is love. God is sovereign. God is always with us. God is absolute truth. God never changes.” And so on.
Thinking about God is good, really good! And the bigger you make God, the smaller your problems become.
The Wall Street Journal writer finishes his article with the advice that “You cannot brush panic away with willpower alone, but you can quarantine yourself from contagious settings.” Here are his four suggestions:
1. Break the circle (of socializing with spooked investors)
2. Turn off the tube
3. Think Positive
4. Stick to it (and set yourself a goal)
Click here to read the entire article.
Coach
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October 16th, 2008
For America to develop its full potential as a country, its leaders must promote and encourage the individual success of its citizens. After all, your success blesses others!
The Right to Excel and Fail
As Americans, we have the right to the pursuit of happiness, not the right to happiness itself. We have the right to equal opportunity, but not the right to equal outcomes. We have the freedom to succeed and the freedom to fail. We have the right to make the choices in our lives we believe will make us happy. If we make wise choices, then we have the right to enjoy the fruits or effects of those choices. If we end up making the wrong choices, then we must naturally suffer the negative consequences.
The Option of Working Harder & Smarter
Fortunately, we then have the right to learn from our mistakes and make better choices in the future. We have the option of paying a bigger price and of earning a bigger reward. We have the right to plan more, read more, learn more, work more, practice more, risk more and become more than the person next to us. This means we also have the right to be better and achieve better results. We can exercise the equal opportunity to become unequal, or we can choose to be average.
The Politics of Mediocrity
Nothing is quite so damaging to the future of America as the proliferation of resentment and envy toward the minority of peak performing men and women who are frequently and collectively referred to by the media as “the rich.” This negative attitude toward the financially successful is manifested in campaign slogans promising to “soak the rich” and “let’s make them pay their fair share.” But could there be anything more cowardly than a politician seeking to gain power by dividing Americans by economic class? I call this type of political warfare, “The Politics of Mediocrity,” and it is, no doubt, toxic to the American spirit.
Gold Is Best Worn By Those Who Earn It
Promising to punish, through higher taxes, those who’ve already excelled financially and succeeded (As many Americans would love to do) sends a mediocre message to the rest of the population. It is like taxing a gold medal winner in the Olympics. We could call it “The Phelps Tax.” Imagine, whoever wins the gold must have his or her medal melted down and redistributed to the second and third place finishers whose medals would then be redistributed to those who did not even place in the race. This would spread the wealth around a bit.
What do you think? The fact that Phelps had a clear goal, outworked his competition, and made maximum use of his God-given talent is immaterial. It simply isn’t fair that one athlete should succeed so greatly when so many other hard-working athletes have to return home with no medal at all. Olympic gold is best worn by Michael Phelps and money is best spent by the individual who earned it.
A 4:8 America Is Excellent and Worthy of Praise
America was founded on the principles of self-reliance, limited government, private property, individual initiative, hard work, and daring. Individualism has made America the great country it is today. Consider the American lifestyle today without the likes of Apple, Microsoft, Dell, Federal Express, Amazon.com, Starbucks, Chick-fil-A, Ford, Home Depot, and Kodak…..all companies founded by exceptional individuals and all of which add tremendous value to our lives.
A Little History…In the Name of Fairness
During the national crises created by World War I and World War II, the American people began to allow more and more government involvement in the economy through taxation and regulation. Sound familiar? Then, as American prosperity soared, many began to believe it was only fair and even “right” for the government to take some away from those who were doing well and pass it along to those who were not doing quite so well. Many economists and academics began to embrace the socialistic concept of controlling the means of production as well as the distribution of goods produced.
Socialism Is Not an Accident
Along the way, the idea of reshuffling America’s wealth became a very popular and often effective political strategy. Politicians would be in charge of taking from those who produced more and giving to those who produced less. Since the percentage of those who do really well (the top producers) tends to be quite small, it’s fairly easy to gain mass support for taxing them. In other words, if you take from Peter and give to Paul, you will very likely have the vote of Paul, and Paul represents the majority of votes. This perpetual dependence on government rather than self, spreads like social cancer, but plays very well to the lower side of human nature.
The Something for Nothing Obsession
This Robin Hood tactic of penalizing the successful and re-appropriating their assets would never even get off the ground in America unless it were fueled by the natural human tendency to try to get something for nothing. This is an all too fashionable fantasy which is always shattered in the long run.
When you try to get something for nothing you become nothing. You will only succeed financially and otherwise to the degree that you are able to resist the something-for-nothing urge that is so pervasive in our society. And all lasting success comes from putting in far more than you plan to take out. When individuals, via governmental interference, consume without producing, then others must produce without consuming.
Make This Promise, Achieve Genuine Success
Make a promise to yourself that you will expect rewards only after you create authentic value for others. Decide to consume only after first producing. These decisions will boost your self-worth and your potential for great success in the long run.
Remember, when you punish the achievers, you hurt most everyone else as an unintended, secondary consequence. Abraham Lincoln said, “You cannot help the poor by tearing down the rich. You cannot help the wage earner by hurting the wage payer.” For a society to prosper, it must never forget who creates the jobs.
The Class Envy Strategy
The creative minority who take responsible, persistent action toward their dreams often become the envy of those who stand by and just watch or report. Left out of the popular debate are the endless stories of true American enterprise, stories of incredible work habits, stories of entrepreneurs scarred with years of sacrifice, stories of individuals overcoming obstacles and thousands of other efforts hidden from view that, brick by brick, build the American dream. And those who promote the idea of assessing a punitive tax on this super productive minority seem to forget the lessons of history.
Who Needs Innovation Anyway?
You can look around the globe and see the destructive consequences of societies like the Soviet Union who, in the name of fairness and equality, tried to disallow success. Do your own research. Is there a single country that has punished its producers that you believe America should seek to emulate? These societies starved themselves from the ideas, innovation, services, products and jobs triggered by the so-called “rich.” As a result, they were unable to thrive and they eventually collapsed. While the strategy of class warfare succeeds in winning elections from time to time, it never really helps the intended beneficiaries (unless that is the politician) and, in the long run, hurts America by eroding and undermining the principles upon which it was built. To argue, even elegantly, against personal initiative, self-reliance and individual success is to take a cheap shot at the American dream.
Join The Magnificent Minority
Instead, become a member of the Magnificent Minority. Reject “mutual responsibility” and accept complete responsibility for both your actions and your results. Acknowledge that you are totally responsible for your success. Not the government, not your boss, not your parents, and not society as a whole. Only you. Despite the long-winded promises to the contrary, no one is coming to the rescue! Only you have the power to make the individual choices that will accumulate into the fruits of an exciting, successful, and satisfying life. Remember, the pursuit and attainment of joy-filled success is absolutely up to you. Choose to take the initiative and you’ll find opportunities you never imagined existed. It’s the right thing to do…and your success blesses others!
Copyright © 2008 by Tommy Newberry. All Rights Reserved.
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October 8th, 2008
Difficult, trying times reveal just how positive you really are. Think about it. What’s the virtue in being positive when you’re on a roll, when everything is clicking for you and falling your way?
In this second of my two-part blog (scroll down to see part one, posted yesterday) I am sharing some proven, practical methods for staying up when most are down…
9. Schedule Four-Minute Positive Injections Every Two Hours
Think of these as Positive Pit Stops. Review your goals or mission. Practice affirmation or visualization. Pray. Read the Bible. Relive a positive memory. Write a thank-you card or send an e-mail of appreciation to someone important. Ask 4:8 Questions. (See page 33 in that smiley face book)
10. Simplify and Declutter to stay U.P.
Complexity is negative. Simplicity is positive. Room by room, drawer by drawer, try tossing one tiny item of clutter every day for thirty consecutive days. My 1% clients love this one and so will you, because doing even a small task will help you to feel more positive. Break your jumbo-sized goals into sub-goals and milestones, and then splinter them into even smaller pieces if necessary to spur you into action. Renegotiate or downsize existing commitments to lighten your load a bit for the next thirty days.
11. Get to Bed Sixty Minutes Earlier for Ten Straight Days
Fatigue, especially chronic fatigue, invites negativity and cowardly thinking. During periods of intense or prolonged stress, extra sleep will help your brain remain an ally in the war against mediocrity. Cut something out of the evening schedule (maybe the bad news) and drift to sleep with visions of victories dancing in your head. Your body, mind, and spirit will thank you.
12. Take a Twenty-Four-Hour Mental Fast
Become Ultra-Positive one day at a time. You can rid your attitude of toxic thoughts through the practice of mental fasting. Read and reread The 4:8 Principle if you want to master this simple, relevant, powerful and biblically-based mental technique. During your fast, abstain from all complaining, fear-mongering, criticizing, excuse-making, gossiping, and worrying whatsoever! Start with a twenty-four minute fast and gradually discipline your mind to repel all negativity for a whole day. Focus on progress. Rinse and repeat as necessary.
13. Stay U.P. and Watch Your Favorite Funny Movies
Laughter is fabulously positive. Research indicates that people who laugh more actually have more fun. Isn’t that surprising? Consider building your own comedy library on DVD. Save funny movies on TIVO. Watch often. You’ll stay healthier, more creative, and less stressed–and that’s a great alternative to the medicine cabinet.
14. Have a Counter-Attack Plan U.P. and Ready
Become hypersensitive to your thought life. Since you can be negative only when you’re thinking “8:4 thoughts,” you can quickly become positive by thinking “4:8 thoughts.” This is called the Principle of Substitution. The split-second you notice any negative thought running through your mind, replace it emphatically with something like, “I am responsible” or “I trust God” “God is with me” “This is temporary” or “I can do it.” Repeat, repeat, repeat! Be ready with your comeback before the heat of the moment. Make negative, limiting thoughts unwelcome in your mind.
15. Re-Engage an Old Hobby to Stay U.P.
Involve yourself in a positive activity that used to be important to you but may have gotten squeezed out of your life due to other priorities. This will be both therapeutic and rejuvenating. Consider it a gift to yourself.
16. Intentionally Cultivate Ultra-Positive Company
This one is mandatory. It’s next to impossible to become or stay U.P. when the people you live and work with are petty, “8:4 thinkers.” Nothing equals the influence of your habitual associations. Especially now, be purposeful about which people are close to you on a regular basis. The people you hang out with influence your outlook on life. As you become more optimistic, you will attract more optimistic people in your life, and that’s good.
17. Help Someone Else U.P.
Donate your money. Donate your time. Volunteer. Simply serve someone less fortunate (and there are a billion or so to choose from) or contribute your talents and gifts to a worthy organization. Helping those who need help reduces self-centeredness and puts your own challenges into a much more positive perspective.
The key to staying U.P. is to remember that every situation can indeed be positive when you view it through the lens of Philippians 4:8, as an opportunity for spiritual growth, character refinement and the redistribution of joy.
Instead of adding to the gloom and doom hype, join the magnificent minority who spread joy…simply because it’s the right thing to do.
Coach
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