How To Bring Out The Worst In Your Friends & Family
First, focus on people’s perceived shortcomings instead of their strengths. Sure they have some admirable qualities, but that’s not the point here. People, especially those closest to us need someone to point out our defects and remind us often of how we are falling short. This is especially powerful if it involves a spouse or child, but works well with a dear friend also. One of the best methods is to look a person in the eye and use extreme words like “always, never, and every time” to characterize their behavior. But, if you don’t say something directly to them, at least hint in some way that you are aware of their faults or that you disapprove of them for some other reason.
Next, assume the worst about that person and predict that the situation or behavior will no doubt deteriorate. Presume that he or she has malicious motives, despite the fact the you don’t know the whole story about them or their decisions.
Finally, practice the “3 R’s of 8:4 Thinking”. Rehearse in your own mind what’s wrong with the other person or how awful the situation has become. Replay specific instances of unacceptable behavior that prove you are right in your judgment.
Regurgitate your dissatisfactions to as many people and in as many different ways as possible. For best results, be as dramatic as possible. Use words such as “outraged, horrible, devastating, shocking” in describing this situation or person to others.
Remember, the key to being miserable (and contributing to other’s misery) is developing the habit of paying excessive mental, emotional, and verbal attention to the