Planning for Positive Self-Talk
Pay attention to almost any conversation for about eight or ten minutes and you’ll hear the toxic talk—the whining, complaining, blaming, condemning, and justifying. Some insist that they’re not being negative, just realistic; they’re giving you an honest description of how their lives are right now.
The reality is that where you have been and what you have done matter far less than where you are going. Most people are bogged down in the present, and as a result, they will keep getting more of what they already have. The human mind loves the status quo, and if not trained otherwise, it will feed you a constant repetition of old ideas and beliefs.
This is where positive self-talk plays an important role in our lives. Self-talk is what we say or think to ourselves, either silently or aloud. Positive self-talk involves intentionally chosen thoughts to think about because of the results they will produce in our lives. Effective self-talk is created by using the P.E.P.P. formula: positively phrased, emotion provoking, present tense, and personal.
Since our minds think in pictures, it has trouble processing a negatively stated goal. It is difficult, if not impossible, for our minds to create a picture of ourselves not doing something. Say, “I am reading for one hour every evening” rather than, “I am no longer wasting my evenings watching TV.” Instead of affirming, “I am not eating ice cream,” say, “I am eating only nutrient-dense, high-energy foods.” Use specific, precise, positively phrased language in your self-talk.
Next, our self-talk should be emotion provoking, causing us to feel some of the emotions even before the experience. The more feeling we intermingle with our self-talk, the more quickly it impacts the subconscious. Experiment with using bold words that are fun and passionate. Use words you haven’t used much before. Break the verbal rut!
Next, our self-talk should always be in the present tense. The subconscious mind, where permanent change becomes rooted, does not recognize the past or the future. It operates only in the here and now. You can effect subconscious change best by communicating in the language your subconscious mind understands: the present tense. Initially, using present tense can feel a bit uncomfortable because you are speaking about the future as if it is already here. Since this is not the way most of us learned to communicate, it is bound to feel strange. Just accept that this is how your mind works. When you affirm your goals and dreams as if they’re already attained, you make the shift from being bogged down to being a visionary!
The last P is for personal. Self-talk that you design yourself—that is personal to your circumstances, your character, and your goals—is most effective. You’ll experience the strongest connection to the self-talk you have composed yourself. However, when you begin, it is often helpful to borrow self-talk from other sources, and then edit to personalize it. Any self-talk repeated often enough will be internalized and become part of your unique mental makeup.
Any attempt to change current habits of thought or action triggers the homeostatic impulse, which makes us feel uneasy and uncomfortable. Since the human brain seeks comfort and pleasure and tries to avoid and move away from discomfort and pain, our natural tendency will be to go back to the old ways of doing things. While this tendency is common, it must be overcome of we are to come alive and unlock our full potential!
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Become a Visionary!
The human mind loves the status quo, and if not trained otherwise, it will feed you a constant repetition of old ideas. Those old thoughts, like an automatic pilot, will steer your life in the same direction it has always gone.
Become a visionary with your life! Become someone who can sense things as they could be rather than just as they are. This is a vital skill in short supply, and when you master it, you can create opportunities for yourself and for others that most people won’t even accept as a possibility.
Consider some part of your life that you’d like to improve. It could be a personal quality, a habit, an attitude, a financial problem, a challenge with your weight, or any other area of dissatisfaction.
Since this area is below your standards, imagine yourself to be down in a hole, far beneath your potential. It doesn’t matter so much how you got in the hole–just that you’re aware that you’re in the hole. To get out, you’re going to have to think up, look up, speak up, and ultimately climb up.
Most people have difficulty climbing out of the hole in their lives simply because they focus more on the hole (which represents their current circumstance) than on where they want to climb (which is the goal or solution). They are bogged down in the reality of today, and as a result, they’ll keep getting more of what they already have. Remember this as the first rule of holes: If you’re in one, stop digging!
You must make the shift from reactive thinking to proactive thinking. You must stop working for your mind and instead enlist your mind to work for you.
Mental Principles that Support Self-Talk
Among the most powerful influences on your character, personality, and attitude is what you say to yourself and believe.
This inner dialog, or self-talk, can and must be effectively harnessed if you are to maximize your full potential. Harnessing your self-talk doesn’t require magic, just a deliberate effort to align your thought life with God’s best plans for your life.
To fully benefit from self-talk though, you must first understand some mental principles that support it. These mental laws are timeless and are in effect for everyone, everywhere, twenty-four hours a day.
1. Cause and effect. If you want to produce a specific result in your life, you must trace back from that result and identify the cause. The most important application of this principle is that your thoughts are causes and your circumstances are effects.
2. Belief. The principle of belief says that whatever you believe about yourself long enough and deeply enough becomes true for you. You do not believe what you see so much as you see what you have already decided to believe. For the most part, your beliefs produce your life experiences, not the other way around.
3. Subconscious activity. Any emotionally charged thought or idea that is repeatedly held in your conscious mind is interpreted by your subconscious mind as a command. Since the subconscious mind cannot distinguish between truth and fantasy, it accepts verbal input without regard to present reality. It always agrees with and complies with what the conscious mind tells it. Your job is to convince the subconscious that the condition you desire already exists. Once you do that, your subconscious then arouses your awareness to the opportunities around you that are consistent with your goals.
4. Substitution. The conscious mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive or negative. This means you are always free to choose a better thought than your current thought. Be aware that you cannot eliminate a thought directly. You can do so only by substituting another one for it.
5. Mental equivalency. This principle states that before physical creation, there must first be mental creation. This means that you must develop a vivid mental picture of any goal you hope to achieve in advance of its actual accomplishment.
6. Concentration. The principle of concentration states that whatever you focus on grows and expands. This works for good or for bad, so be careful where you place your mental priorities.
7. Relaxation. Trying too hard mentally actually becomes counterproductive. When you try to force things mentally, your mind freezes up and stops working creatively. Your subconscious absorbs positive self-talk fastest when you are relaxed and unhurried.
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